


Young Xehanort and Vanitas vs. A Donkey

by FangsofLightening



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, ridiculously powerful magic donkey, self defense against an aggressive magic donkey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 17:31:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20878016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangsofLightening/pseuds/FangsofLightening
Summary: "Possessed, tainted, I don't care what was wrong with it- that was ridiculous."In which Young Xehanort and Vanitas get into a fight with a donkey.





	Young Xehanort and Vanitas vs. A Donkey

"Do not disturb the sleeping ass. We've lost too many people already." 

Vanitas snickered, then burst into laughter. It was a deep hearty laugh, head back and smile so wide his cheeks hurt. Xehanort frowned, he didn't see what was so funny, but didn't try and stop him. Vanitas didn't laugh like that often and unlike his oldest self Xehanort was of the belief that positivity of any kind and cause would strengthen Vanitas.

"Did you- oh wow- Did you have to read that so seriously?" 

"It's a serious sign," Xehanort said. "How did you expect me to read it?" 

"You think _that's_ a serious sign?"

Xehanort looked at Vanitas properly with a frown. As ridiculous as it sounded they needed to take this seriously. 

"It's a warning. Warnings are always serious regardless of what they may say." 

"Whatever." Vanitas waved a hand dismissively. "Let's get going." 

Around the next corner was a donkey. Under the sleeping donkey was a pile of hay, spread around the entirety of the stable and a few feet in front of it. Nothing seemed wrong with the donkey. The brown and white hair was normal, long ears normal, ugly face normal. What wasn't normal was everything else. Not the stable, no: that was perfectly normal from this angle. But the dirt... Something red was mixed in the dirt and neither of them wanted to think of it as blood but... With everything else they'd already seen on this world...

"There's the sleeping ass," Xehanort said. "Let's try not to disturb it. Just to be sure." 

Vanitas found the situation ridiculous, but it was better to be safe than sorry. Even if he doubted a donkey could be that threatening. 

They were halfway across the patch of dirt when a loud snap stopped them in their tracks. Vanitas looked down- eyes widening at the sight of the bone he'd stepped on- and Xehanort looked at the donkey. 

The animal was no longer asleep. It was looking at them, an evil glint in its golden eyes. One that Xehanort found more than slightly alarming. 

"Vanitas we need to go." 

"There are bones in here," Vanitas exclaimed at the same moment. 

The loud braying of the donkey drowned out all other noise as they started running. A shimmering barrier rose up around the area, Xehanort running into it before he stopped and Vanitas bumping into him. They turned in time to avoid the donkey's attack. 

It was fast. A lot faster than either of them anticipated. The donkey stopped three yards away and stared at them with crazed eyes. The air around the donkey pulsed, once, twice, then the loud braying amplified by the air manipulation hurt their ears and left them dazed. 

Vanitas held his head as that awful sound continued echoing in his skull. He couldn't- for a donkey of all fucking things- He felt the Unversed leave him: a group full of his disbelief, pain, and irritation. They surged forward to attack the donkey as he and Xehanort came out of their daze. 

"This is ridiculous," Vanitas grumbled. 

As was the donkey taking down his Unversed with no trouble at all. Every burst of pain from their return to him created more, once again utilizing the cycle he'd tried so hard to break from. It was better than nothing, and after all these years he had perfect control over what was created. If only he knew what would be most useful against an aggressive donkey with magic abilities. 

"Keep doing that," Xehanort said. "It should distract the beast and while it's occupied I-"

The donkey charged them, a pointed barrier of air around it knocking the Unversed away. The two safely avoided the attack and summoned their keyblades. 

"Can't you put it back to sleep?" Vanitas shouted, jumping out of the way of another attack. His own counter was deflected by the barrier and he teleported away to avoid any damage. 

"That doesn't work on animals." 

"You've got to be kidding me."

Xehanort traced an arch over his head with his keyblade and sent the summoned blades of ice toward the donkey. Some of them hit their mark, others piercing into the dirt and Unversed. Balls of firey darkness joined the attack, shattering the donkey's magical defense. As the shimmering particles scattered Void Gear slammed into its side, leaving a bloody gash as well as sending it to the ground a few feet away. 

A burst of air pushed Vanitas back when he moved to follow. Wind whipped around as the donkey got to its hooves, angry pained braying intensifying the ferocity of the wind and shaking the ground. Bones previously hidden rose to the surface as the ground cracked beneath them. 

"What is with this animal?" 

More Unversed filled the enclosed area as Vanitas rushed toward the donkey in a puddle of darkness. Xehanort thrust the blade of his keyblade into the ground, the other end of the whip bursting up beneath the donkey to wrap around its middle and hold it in place. 

Vanitas appeared above the donkey, Void Gear prepared for what would hopefully be the final strike. He dropped swinging down to- the donkey looked at him and screamed. The burst of air, the soundwaves, stunned him as his ears rang. Hooves slammed into his midsection. Pain burst in his body as he flew back to slam into the ground, chunks of dirt and bone flying up from the force of his impact. The pain was nothing; he'd dealt with and survived worse. The blow to his ego however...

Xehanort rushed to Vanitas' side and helped him to his feet. Despite the heavily bleeding injury to its side the donkey charged them again. Two massive Unversed formed in front of them, shields held together to form a barrier that sent the donkey back the same way it reflected anyone else stupid enough to attack them head-on. More formed around them to act as a protective barrier. 

"This should buy us some time," Vanitas said. 

More Unversed formed outside the wall of - what'd Ventus call them? Bruisers?- to keep the donkey occupied and Vanitas could keep this up for hours but they really needed to end this soon. 

"I have an idea," Xehanort said. "Do you think you could destroy the barrier?" 

"Of course," Vanitas scoffed. "This donkey can't possibly be stronger than Master Aqua." 

"Do it. As the barrier is shattering, take back the Unversed. I'll stop the donkey as it comes for us and we'll make our escape." 

"Okay. So I just have to- Wait. Isn't your range-"

"I am not exerting more energy than necessary on this beast. A short range Stop spell will suffice long enough for us to get away. The beast is angry enough- if the path is opened, I believe it will come for us and pay no heed to its fallen barrier." 

"Or we can kill it." 

"The beast is already dying. Let's not waste more energy on it." 

Vanitas nodded and aimed directly above them before firing off a Dark Firaga. Three of them one after the other, sending more than enough fireballs into the air to shatter the barrier. All the Unversed returned to him in a painful surge that had him hissing. 

Now that there was nothing else to attack, the donkey charged at Xehanort and Vanitas. As it drew closer Xehanort placed a hand on Vanitas' arm to keep him in place. Three, two, one

"Stop." 

The clock burst across the ground beneath them and the donkey stopped in its tracks. Unwilling to waste another moment, though Vanitas still wanted to kill the damn thing, they ran passed the donkey to continue on their way. Neither of them stopped until they were well away, at the edge of a forest and off the expansive farmland. 

Both collapsed to the ground breathing hard. For a minute neither of them said anything. 

"Do not let Master Xehanort know of this," Xehanort said. "He'll never let me out of the castle again." 

"Last thing we need is anyone knowing we were having a hard time dealing with a donkey," Vanitas agreed. "Possessed, tainted, I don't care what was wrong with it- that was ridiculous."


End file.
